Everything You Wanted to Know About Us (But Were Afraid to Ask)

What did your mom say the last time you spoke to her?

Ellyn: Lecturing on the hazards of diet soda: “Same thing goes for drinking. It’s usually the stuff you mix it with that makes you sick.”

Miriam: “Do you want to know something really funny? It’s actually going to cost us money to take you off the car insurance!”

What makes you want to jump your boyfriend’s bones?

E: Pheromones. And he randomly brings me flowers but never roses, which he knows I hate.

M: He does all the dishes.

What makes you want punch him in the face?

E: He’s an inconsiderate Jersey driver. And he never thinks to do laundry or clean.

M: He still won’t eat meat.

Tell me about the last time you spilled food all over yourself.

E: White t-shirt, overflowing green tea smoothie, 100 degrees outside, no napkins.

M: Brand new yellow shirt—was super proud of my tan—promptly sprayed soy sauce all over it while attempting to make vegetable stir-fry. (See above re face-punching.)

Describe the last NY conversation you overheard.

E: Well, I always have my iPod on… but at the Red Bulls/Galaxy game, a fan shouted “Go back to LA and eat your sushi, pansies!”

Describe the last skank you saw in LA.

M: A forty-something wrinkly woman with jeans hanging down so low she had total butt cleavage. No thong, just crack. Her husband either didn’t notice or worse, didn’t care.

What book are you reading right now?

E: Family and Other Accidents by Shari Goldhagen, recommended by Miriam.

What’s your least favorite romantic comedy ever?

M: Sabrina. I would kill for Audrey Hepburn’s evening gowns but she is the lamest, most depressing character ever. Plus hence Katherine Heigl, Julia Roberts, and all other horrid chick flicks.

Favorite drink?

E: Ketel soda with lemon; margarita on the rocks with salt.

M: Anything with cucumber and tequila.

Would you ever voluntarily fly out of LAX?

M: No, I’m a Burbank baby all the way.

Would you ever voluntarily fly out of JFK?

E: Actually, Newark is way more convenient for the Hudson Riversides.

If you could trade anything with me, what would it be?

M: Your pool cabanas.

E: Your governor.

Pet peeve of the moment?

E: Traffic trying to leave and then return to NYC every weekend, how the entire city smells like trash and BO until the sun sets.

M: Looking in my rearview mirror and realizing the person behind me is looking at their phone more than my car, Woody Allen in Annie Hall (read: all the asshole New-Yorkers-are-better-than-Angelenos crap).

Advertisements
This entry was posted in Cohabitation, Los Angeles, Moms, New York and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Everything You Wanted to Know About Us (But Were Afraid to Ask)

  1. Diet Advice says:

    Hey, I really enjoyed reading this! Thanks for the share!

  2. Very detailed and helpful post. Well said and written.

  3. Lee says:

    Ha! Funny stuff. I wish you guys the best on your blog!

  4. Mummy says:

    This is great! I really like this kiddo!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s