Please Help Me Not Kill My Boyfriend, Part 2

Dear Ellyn,

Should I worry that my boyfriend and I take our iPad to bed with us to play ‘Angry Birds’ each night?


Dear Miriam,

When in a couple, is it wrong to not do a couples costume for Halloween? Is it also wrong to do a couples costume with your gay best friend instead of your boyfriend?


Dear Ellyn,

Not only is it not wrong, it is the kind thing to do. Think about it: when you were single you wanted to kill all those sappy too-cute couples in costume. So consider not dressing up together a good deed on behalf of all the singletons and general icky-ness haters out there (me). Besides, it is important to exert your independence in your relationship–both to preserve your own sanity and the health of said relationship. Doing things separately every now and again only makes all the stuff you do together that much more fun.

In answer to your second question, simple: like all good friends, boyfriends serve different purposes. Which is why we have lots of different friends–because they are useful for any variety of things. Harsh, but true. And if it is more fun to dress up with your gay best friend than your boyfriend for Halloween, then screw your boyfriend.

(If he is nice to you about it, that is.)


Dear Miriam,

I don’t know what ‘Angry Birds’ is, but I assume it’s a game on your iPad and not a game you play with the iPad in bed, which is fine, completely normal. I commend you for being able to play any game together without arguing. I think it’s actually healthy and nice that you have this cooperative time together each night, even if you’re not getting physical. You should only worry if you become obsessed with the game so much that you do nothing else and never mix it up. For example, it’s Friday night and you were invited to three parties, one of which is a good friend’s birthday, it’s perfect weather, and you’re in a good mood. Do you A.) get dolled up and keep up your appearances as a smiling couple about town or B.) stay home and play ‘Angry Birds.’

The answer is allowed to be B only if one or both of you is sick with a fever, or there’s a blizzard outside and your snow boots were stolen. But it’s LA, so I don’t think you have snow.

We’re all insanely busy, we put too much on our plate, so it’s okay to be so exhausted when you finally get home that all you want to do is snuggle together and play games in your sweatpants. Any time together, when you’re paying attention to each other, even with an iPad in between, is good. Just make sure you do leave the iPad on the nightstand sometimes, or you could risk becoming real life angry birds and that would be unfortunate.


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6 Responses to Please Help Me Not Kill My Boyfriend, Part 2

  1. Nicole Polizzi says:

    Miriam do not get me started about ANGRY BIRDS…..My boyfriend works at Apple (really code for playing Angry Birds all day) and when he gets home he plays angry birds!!!! It has not yet hit the bedroom though ahahahI would not doubt that thats the next step…

  2. Susan says:

    Um well, my boyfriend discovered Angry Birds just three days ago when he purchased a Droid phone…sometimes he lets me play, and I like it because then he doesn’t ignore me, but it’s definitely not allowed in bed 🙂

    And Ellyn, he also says it’s really mean that you’re not dressing up with your bf and still being half of a couple.

    • ellyn says:

      hahahah “I like it because he doesn’t ignore me.” Warm and fuzzy. It’s not mean! He wanted me to be Jules from Superbad… however that would only require me to dye my hair. Not very fun. Then I thought he was being a Wolverine, so there was no way I was being a Michigan cheerleader. BLECK! Andy just had a better idea. Shaun isn’t mad anymore, but his costume is a secret… I’m scared.

  3. Tom says:

    Hi Ellyn,

    I wholeheartedly agree with Miriam’s response to your question, but I have to answer with a question of my own: what are the two couple costumes you’re toying with at the moment? There are some couple costumes that only a gay best friend can pull off. (As a gay best friend of many ladies, I speak from experience.) Not to be heterosexist, but even without hearing the options, I’m guessing that the couple costume you have planned with your gay best friend is probably more fun. The gays just excel at Halloween; it’s kind of our thing.

    Also, Snooki comments on your blog? You guys are famous!!

    Very much enjoying the JFK/LAX experience,

    • ellyn says:

      Well my boyfriend and I kicked around a few ideas and never settled on anything. Then my friend Andy wanted me to be Maeby from Arrested Development (in the banana stand) since he was being George Michael. I loved that idea, knew my boyfriend would never ever be GM, so I agreed. We fought it out, but he got over it. Boyfriends don’t really like couples costumes unless they get to be Hugh Hefner. Everyone should just be whatever they want for Halloween… this is no time for compromise!

      Also it’s not the real Snooki, although she gets that a lot. She has a lot more dignity and brain cells…

      Thanks for reading!

  4. ellyn says:

    Now everyone thinks I’m weird for not knowing what Angry Birds is. I’m apparently “really weird.” The only game I play is BrickBreaker. Whatever.

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