Please Help Me Not Kill My Boyfriend, Sleepy Town Edition

Dear Ellyn,

I’m really crabby the first half-hour after I wake up each morning and Bryan is uber-sensitive about it. How do I make it clear it’s not him, it’s me?

Crabby McCrabberson,

Dear Miriam,

Shaun is a restless night owl most of the time. On Sunday nights, he doesn’t sleep much at all because he’s thinking about the week ahead. I’m the kind of person that stresses if I don’t get a good seven hours every night, but I’m also a light sleeper so I wake up when he moves. How can we both sleep more soundly?

Sleepless in Las Jersey,

Dear Ellyn,

Funny because Bryan has the exact same problem with me. So I’m especially equipped to advise you on this. Or at least seek Bryan’s advice on this.

Obviously the ideal fix would be one of those tempurpedic mattresses that you can supposedly put a glass of red wine down on and then jump up and down like crazy and it still won’t spill. But those are spendy. The cheaper fix includes ear plugs and sleep masks. (The blue and pink ones they sell at Duane Reade actually might be magic they knock out noise so well, and the thin sleep masks are silky comfy.)

But the best thing you can do to ensure a good night’s sleep – and this goes for both you and Shaun – is to start shutting down early. An hour before you even get into bed, turn off all your electronics, put on your PJs, do all your bedtime ritual stuff. Finally, do something relaxing that helps you unwind – say, read a book. Personally I think it’s fine to take that last step to bed but Bryan is of the professional insomniac opinion that you should do not anything besides sleep in bed (well and you know).

Sweet dreams,

Dear Miriam,

This is a common problem. Some people jump out of bed in the AM, ready to go, and some people would rather sleep until it’s no longer the morning. It depends on the day for me, but it’s kind of awful to wake up in a crabby mood and even worse when someone tries to cheer you up. On the other hand, it stinks to wake up in a fine mood, only to find your other half is cranky. Major kill joy.

You and Bryan are both lucky your mood only lasts half an hour! Growing up, my younger sister was always in the worst mood ever until about 4pm (no lie). And then it was okay to talk to her. I spent most of my childhood pushing her buttons, aggravating her to no end, asking questions, trying to make her laugh. I learned that nothing works, except silence. Bryan definitely should not take this personally. Nor should he try to change it. Some people need space, especially upon waking up.

Just talk to him and establish that you need this half hour in the morning to not talk. Explain that it’s not him, you just start the day off better if you have a little time to yourself. Then when you’re ready, you’ll be happy. It might also help if he brings you coffee and breakfast in bed. (Kidding, sort of.)

Shh! It’s morning,

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2 Responses to Please Help Me Not Kill My Boyfriend, Sleepy Town Edition

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Please Help Me Not Kill My Boyfriend, Sleepy Town Edition | JFKLAX --

  2. Kelly says:

    “Some people jump out of bed in the AM, ready to go, and some people would rather sleep until it’s no longer the morning.” So true. I think you can divide 99 percent of the world population into those two categories — and people keep insisting on cohabitating with and/or marrying people from the opposite category.

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