The Jersey Shore Situation

The Jersey Shore, b*tch! Similar to most Northeastern Americans, I’ve been going to the Jersey Shore every year since the beginning of time (1985). As I said in a previous post, my boyfriend is from a town about 15 minutes from the shore and 30 from THE shore….Seaside Heights. He sometimes reminds me of Ronnie (obviously NOT the bad qualities, such as cheating and being an all-around man whore. I actually can’t pinpoint what it is exactly, but something). When he sees them all partying at Karma, he says, “I want to go.” I say, “oh my God. I don’t.” Oh, and we met at the Jersey Shore, even though you’re not supposed to fall in love there, according to Ronnie. Hopefully I’m not as much of a Debbie Downer as Sam. However, (it has to be said), we did have a run-in with the cops immediately following our first kiss, which was in fact on the beach. Something about “creating a nuisance.”

Did I ever have a summer even remotely similar to these eight upstanding citizens? No. In high school, I spent a week at a time in the dry town of Ocean City at church camp.
What’s the opposite of Snookie and The Situation? Probably Jesus freaks.
Now when I go to the shore for weekends, we do play beer pong and creep around clubs (The Princeton!), but we don’t tan our tans. We use the sunshine, and we also don’t have girl fights and rip each other’s hair out. We don’t tease our hair or hairspray our boobs either. We do spend much of our time at the beach quoting The Jersey Shore (t-shirt time, grenades, GTL, shirt before the shirt, beat up the beat, and mostly FIST PUMP!)

I asked Shaun (former blow-out, popped collar man that he is) which girl he would pick if he had to choose between Snooki and new girl, Deena. He said Snooki. That’s saying something. Did you see the South Park episode where al-Qaeda comes to America to fight New Jersey? Me want smoosh smoosh! Horrendous. Horrible. But kind of hilarious.

Not that any of these people are really from Jersey… I think one or two of them are, but these are in fact the kind of Staten Islanders who hang at Seaside for the summer. I think it’s gross that they’re all famous and getting paid for this, but then again, how many people would want to get trashed and go on national TV to flaunt their trashiness? Do they realize their grandmas probably have cable? I’m glad they do it, because it’s highly entertaining, and I feel so much better about myself.

My favorite part about last night’s episode was when Vinny said Snooki “hit rock bottom.” LOL really? I think that happened long ago, she just hadn’t been arrested yet. Maybe I’m just bitter because I’m a Jersey resident now. In any case, I can’t wait til summer. I might even do a beach share, and spend EVERY weekend down the shore.

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1 Response to The Jersey Shore Situation

  1. Sarah says:

    If you enjoy Jersey Shore you should also take a look at Bad Girls Club Just as entertaining but all girls/lesbians so more hair pulling and battling for respect… or something.

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