On Being Lame and Coupled Off

The other night Ellyn’s single friend accidentally sent her a text meant for another, single girl. It said: “All my lame ass coupled off friends went home. What’s up.” (She was one of the coupled off friends that had just gone home.)


We get it. After all, Miriam and Bryan ditched their friends last night at the early hour of midnight. Granted they were at a gay bar and had to drive home… but what is it about being in a couple that kills your going out mojo? JFKLAX examines.

Ellyn: Saturday was Hoboken St. Patrick’s Day. Some say it’s as exciting as Christmas morning and the best day of the year. I say it’s the worst, my personal hell. I avoided Hoboken like the plague and spent the day in Manhattan. The drunk people on the train in stupid green hats with shamrock tattoos made me nauseous.

Now rewind two years. Hoboken St. Patrick’s Day = best day ever. When I was single, I felt like I had to go out as much as possible because I never knew who I was going to meet. I drank more because I had to appear more exciting and carefree than I really am. “The Chase” propelled me to stay up late, text guys, and flirt.

Miriam: Of course there was always “The Chase.” But something about being on my own always gave me more energy. Even when I go out without Bryan now, I drink more, I stay out longer, I accidentally take gypsy cabs home… I literally just texted a friend who complained that we left too early last night that I should go out with her alone.

Ellyn: Something about being in a relationship, turning twenty-six, cohabitation, and/or the combination of all three has made me boring. I get sick after three drinks. I like going to bed before midnight on weekends, so I can get up early and go to the gym and then actually do something with my Saturdays besides lay around with a hangover. The thought of drinking Irish car-bombs and green beer all day starting at eight in the morning sounds about as fun as having strep throat.

Miriam: Dude, I hear you. I did Jameson shots on my birthday and could not move the next day. Life takes more time now. And being in a relationship takes even more time. It’s not just that we don’t need to meet guys out anymore. Going home with your boyfriend of two-plus years is not the same as going home with some random at the bar or even going home with the guy you’ve been dating for a couple months. The time and energy we used to put into partying now goes into romance upkeep. Not to make relationships sound super dull or anything. Cause they’re (mostly) not.

Ellyn: So do I hate fun? Or am I just mature?

Miriam: You’re growing up. We’re growing up. The upside to not partying as much isn’t just that we have loving boyfriends, it’s that the time we do spend with our friends is more valuable. Because it doesn’t happen as frequently, because it doesn’t always involve as much drinking as it used to, you get more face time. More time to talk. More time that you actually remember. And while different, just as much fun.

Ellyn: Yeah, I guess I’ve just redefined fun. It no longer needs to involve drinking, making out, and staying up until dawn. In other words, bars are no longer my scene. The new fun can be a dinner party, going on a Gossip Girl bus tour of the city with my little sister, or just watching a movie with my boyfriend.

Miriam: Of course, being able to play the couple card and go home and pass out early is pretty money too.

Ellyn: Duh. It’s way more acceptable than staying home alone.

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